drkishoremurthy

I am currently blogging here - Umbra by Kishore Murthy

"To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation "

Ah! Such depth and sight... ' Life of Pi  ' is a beautifully written book..

as I sat editing some pics.. uncle hurriedly comes down from the terrace and grumbles very quickly.. he seemed excited.. but not in the good way.. once he repeated it again.. I realized it was a crow in distress.. he said it was hanging by its wing that seemed to be stuck on a thread from a kite that went down.. I ditched my work.. ran upstairs.. and saw a crow dangling from a thread by the tip of its left wing.. the thread spread from a coconut tree to the terrace compound of my neighbor opposite my house..

I could not see anyone.. and the caw caw caw of the other crows seemed deafening.. I ran down and was about to enter the neighbors place and ask permission to get to their terrace.. and what do u know!!!!! the good neighbor heard the caw's and was on the terrace and he cut the thread and released the crow..

the delight, the flight of happy freedom .. all of them disappeared in seconds.. and it was silence..

I head back home.. well!! caw

ps: uncle feeds the crows every day on the terrace.. usually at least twice.. he even feeds some stray cats that hit the terrace looking about and cajoling him into feeding them.. a softie he is :P

the weather was pleasant but not for driving my bike to work.. it was 1930 hrs.. well! I wanted to be back home anyway and decided not stay back at the hostel.. and so I took an auto just as it seemed it would pour.. the streets were a little empty.. very breezy the bangalore winds struck my spectacled face with many leaves and sandy dust.. it felt good..

hmm.. steaming hot corn on a cart.. hmm.. should I stop to grab one and munch like a small monkey and head to work with a grin ;p .. maybe I should grab a chaat or one of the charcoal roasted corn coated in spicy masala.. well! today was not one of those days since I was in a hurry..

lazy as I am, I left home a tad late.. I need to take over my shift at 2000 hrs.. well! my relief on duty never lands on time.. so.. whatever.. excuses.. excuses..

I strike up a chat with the auto driver.. bubbly fellow.. just needed someone to tickle him in kannada.. and he took off into a streaming flight full of thoughts, ideas and talk.. from politics, to traffic, the weather, IT.. he knew it it all.. I listened fueling his enthu as I laid back on the seat and rested.. a tape played in the background, old kannada songs and had me humming as I listened to the vivid banter of this youthful chap..

he talked about how kormanagala was before the forum happened and how bangalore was before the fly overs and one ways happened and cussed the govt for their lack of work on the roads and increasing congestion..

I was in a hurry.. and the traffic seemed to thin.. I pondered to myself thanking my stars.. and as though my mind was read, the auto chap goes on about the same.. " neevu thumba lucky saar.. evathu traffic kammi idhe " and contemplates the likely reasons for this good fortune.. and I pray.. oh! god.. let not speaking about it jinx the smooth ride..

it goes on.. as I slip into my contemplative world, simultaneously engaging my mind to the loquacious driver and bite a glimpse of his world.. and looking outside at the so many others driving by in their worlds.. fascinated..

I keep trying to remind myself that I am in a hurry... and before I knew it I was dreaming again, as I listened to the driver, the music.. each layering on top of the other.. he pauses I add in a word, a sentence and he takes off from there.. of his work, his life as a auto driver and family.. as I drift again in amazement..

well! I remember that I was heading out to work and was not on a trip.. hmm.. maybe I was on a trip..a trip to work.. hahaha.. heh! why am I laughing ?P

the trip ended abruptly as almost a km away from work, a traffic jam.. the first in the entire ride.. surprisingly we had touched only two red signals in the entire journey.. and now.. the event tried to balance itself..

as the driver now irritated cribs on the traffic and while doing so turned around, and spotted a friend in another vehicle on the road.. so he said hi.. and suddenly wham!!!

he was not looking ahead.. so when the maruti van in front came to a sudden halt.. we rammed it.. the only luck.. is that our speed was almost negligible.. yet .. an altercation ensues and I sit and watch.. as slowly the heat subsides and we continue on a few more meters.. still stuck in the traffic jam.

well! I had to get to work.. so I pay him.. as he goes.. come on sir.. sit for another five min I will drop you.. smiles exchange and I part after paying him the fare.. a tip and some good words.. and walk the distance to the hostel to change and cross the still jam-packed road to the other side and get to the hospital campus.. it was around 2030 hrs..

ps: do ignore the tense errors..am too lazy to edit and while u are at it, u can also ignore the grammatical blunders :P

Its been a great few days and I.. I.. I..  I am feeling quite happy :P

ugliness is a beauty that disgusts...

I just finished watching KAAL.. and I have three words to describe it -
crappy, stupid, nonsense..

ice.. like crystal.. birthed by the fluid.. frozen
hot.. like lava.. birthed by the earth.. molten
steam.. like cloud.. birthed by interaction.. vapor

I feel like ice hot steam :P

torn, mounted and splayed I find myself.. paralysed by a zillion different things I wish to do.. woe me to try and do it all .. only to fall gasping and exhausted when I had just begun.. haha

stupid me .. stupid me.. yeah.. yeah.. tomorrow is another day but it wont be today..

argh.. here goes.. [ u can find the squirrel here ]

Total volume of music files on my computer:
1343

The last CD I bought was:
Velvet Revolver- Contraband

Songs playing right now
car: I don't drive much and my car does not have a player..

home:
Jethro Tull and Velvet Revolver

work:
groans,beeps and hisses of  the ICU

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
John Petrucci's guitar solo
Joe Satriani's  love thing
Pink Floyd's time
Creed's with arms wide open
Aerosmith's taste of india

Five people to whom I’m passing the baton:
azooey  -  for I have no idea as to what she  listens to
kalyan  - interested to know how he is faring on the music front in the wild
fugney  - am sure he will enjoy this meme / any meme for the matter
zeeshanmn  - should be interesting to know what makes him go jiggy
yathin  - what do u play on u'r scorpio dude?
satz  - apart from the click of a shutter what else do u listen to buddy?
thaths  - enlighten the world please ;)
jace  -  dude what do u dig when it comes to music?

oh! that was more than five .. so what ;p

the quite frequent..death in ICU.. (a/c gastroenteritis/severe sepsis/post cardio-respiratory arrest/hypoxic encephalopathy).. passed away peacefully.. shift ends.. the streets wet.. tells a story of heavy rainfall (few hours before).. clean the dust of the seat of my bike.. wearing an helmet that does not allow my glasses (woe me for buying one before I acquired spectacles and for being lazy to buy a new one now)..

I drive into the wind.. flashes of lightning.. of dust and carbon-monoxide rich smoke spit by every machine.. five minutes.. thick traffic.. five more minutes.. only a kilometer covered and more thick traffic.. drizzle breaks out.. turns into a torrential rain of large drops slapping all over my eyes.. with difficulty I navigate out onto the side of the road.. park and jump onto the footpath and take cover under the tarpaulin sheets of some small shops.. people huddle like rabbits.. chatting among themselves..

soaked in just few seconds.. hungry and tired.. a cuss slowly forms in my mind..  I spot a food joint in the cramped space.. make my way in the crowd.. a small stool to sit.. a smile greets me.. a moderately built woman.. hindi speaking.. likable .. me spot a small kitchen at the back.. and try to size up the aloo parotha the dude next to me is munching on.. and so it was.. ordered aloo parotha.. was the best I ever ate.. dahi and spicy chutney.. chillies and aloo.. felt warm inside and watched myself smile in content.. the glow returning to my cheeks.. looked around.. spotted  few female forms to feast on while I waited.. five minutes.. find myself eating a pani puri .. five more minutes.. a samosa.. yum.. as time ticks .. its almost 2200 hrs.. the rain decides to calm and becomes a light drizzle.. wet and tired but warm in the belly I walk onto my bike in an enthusiastic stride with a smile stuck on my face..

wipe the water off the seat.. head home.. slush splashed by the bus next to me as it hits a puddle.. spotted a fallen tree crashing thru the compound wall of a house and onto the road.. drive on.. passing unmanned signal points.. and crazy driving by fellow men.. still alive.. I drive on.. plish plosh and lot of slush.. another fallen tree.. way out onto the street .. almost midway.. a small traffic jam.. I drive on.. drunken man tries to cross in front of me .. walking, he  trips and falls on his a$$.. right in front.. I drive on.. missing his head by a few inches.. phew..

bus almost rams me into a median.. I honk and give a stare.. unlikely the driver seated like a king at a higher level to have spotted my stare thru the crash helmet's visor, let alone feel something because of that.. still .. I stare and honk again .. and speed off into the dark night overtaking the king.. hehe.. only to get stuck behind an auto and a luna.. both puking smoke thick enough to choke.. lighting up blue as light strikes the dark smoke laden night ..

ah.. the smells and sights of an urban land choking and gurgling.. I drive on.. towards home..

to cry.. to laugh.. to be afraid .. to love.. to hate.. to resent.. to be loved.. to play.. to rise.. to fall.. to be stuck.. to be thirsty.. to be curious.. to be excited.. to burn.. to heal.. to excite.. to jump.. to leap.. to float .. to live a thousand deaths within.. to just be.. and so continues the saga of life...

I see myself and realize I can't see clearly.. Its not the glasses.. Well! Maybe it is .. hahaha

slowness, disordered and random is the thought.. the wind blows outside.. bringing the smell of the world as I hide inside my shell after a tiring night.. oh! just let me be ..

I get it.. I need to go back to sleep.. and wake up into another day of beeps, sounds and groans of an ICU.. some days are exciting, some tiring and uncertainty is the ruler of all things.. and then.. maybe.. I will go for a run :)

I took my pencils out after so many months and sat in front of a blank sheet of paper in the hope of sketching something.. After few minutes and some random strokes I had a thought stream of weird shapes, forms and colors.. which was quite amusing and doesn't quite say much, while saying a lot too .. heee ..

So, basically I did something I had not done in a long time and came up with funny results that I won't be sharing here .. hahaha

fly.. fall.. thrilling in experience.. wind slappin me in the face .. pulling, pushing and making creases.. clothing flutter in a pattern unknown making noises that add to the weee of the roaring wind.. I close my eyes slowly as darkness envelops me as I enter the world of dreams.. full of color, splatters of red, yellow and green.. gurgling blue and blushing pink.. forms make themselves known and fade as I try and attempt to grasp.. I run in mid air .. stretch in my arms flailingly.. wild are my attempts, wrestling with nothing but air.. eyes fall on a glittering point the size of a pin head.. a gravity of a thousand suns.. my entire universe squeezes thru.. comes out in a world of greys and pinks intertwining .. each fighting to find its place.. a world of worlds that just collapsed over and into the other ..

I wake.. twisted .. to an ordinary world .. and find myself smiling.. as a mosquito hums in my ear.. phut.. goes my hand .. and I go back to sleep to yet another dream full of humming mosquitoes lookin for blood..

cat on terrace.. a stray that gets fed twice everyday.. large belly and full nipples indicating pregnancy.. births a litter 2 days ago.. in the back of the roofed and caged balcony.. I trace the whines to a cardboard box ..

attacked by a male at night.. timely intervention prevents damage.. cannot take it in and adopt.. bound and chained by the rules at home.. after more than 30 cats over 13 yrs.. it is hard and so it has been for five..

left to nature.. I get back.. early morning another male, another fight.. three dead of the four.. one whining.. the cat won't let me in.. the box now is highly protected.. it is not so familiar with me to allow access and assess damage.. I silently scream.. allows me to take a peek and that is it.. I wait.. I wait.. with patience to attend to wounds and the dead..

such is the way of nature.. the very cats that came together.. bringing new life.. one protects it.. the other views it as emerging competition.. one feeds it.. the other kills..

time runs forward.. u run with it or rather u try.. sometimes u stop to look around.. life goes on without u.. and then u comeback.. to start again.. to run in loops.. until one day u pop..

connections with other souls made.. sweet exchanges savored.. in the same way the connections can crack and the souls drift away.. only to come round again in close juxtaposition and  re-established..

life and its intricacies.. life and its simplicities.. sometimes life gets twisted.. sometimes it is the reality or perception that is twisted and sometimes it is u who gets twisted..

a grey sadness creeps in through the door.. silent tears break away from the surface tension that holds it together and trickle down the face.. such tears are much better than the tears of blood..

elements in conflict ... elements that seem part yet are outsiders
look away for a while & it collapses into the heap it came from

introspection runs in endless circles that sometimes spirals
spiraling outward or inward... like continual banging on a drum